


Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart

by hxilzy



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (sorta?), Angst, Angst and Feels, Fuckbuddies, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sad Ending, This is rly sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-08-11 20:50:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7907260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hxilzy/pseuds/hxilzy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted to say no. He wanted to say fuck you, I’m tired of your games Tsukishima. He wanted to scream and spill every last feeling that’s been destroying his brain, but he knows he’ll never have the guts to actually say this to the tall blond boy.</p><p>or</p><p>Yamaguchi just wants Tsukishima to love him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Little Bit Of Your Heart

Tsukki : Come over 

Yamaguchi stared at his phone, swallowing thickly as he began to type but couldn’t seem to find anything to reply with. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say fuck you, I’m tired of your games Tsukishima. He wanted to scream and spill every last feeling that’s been destroying his brain, but he knows he’ll never have the guts to actually say this to the tall blond boy. Instead, he unlocked his phone and typed back a quick “Okay” before grabbing the bag he normally took with him in these situations, because of course this wasn’t the first time. 

The walked to Tsukishima’s house was close to 15 minutes, but Yamaguchi never minded honestly. He would take this time to get himself fired up and tell himself how he was going to chew Tsukki out and tell him how he truly feels. This happened every time, Yamaguchi rehearsed his ‘speech’ the whole way there but as soon as he saw the front porch lights of Tsukishima’s house, his belligerent feelings were a metaphorical paper ball tossed into a waste bin.

Walking up the the front door, he knocked three times, as he always did. There was a fluttering sensation Yamaguchi always got as he heard the sound of Tsukishima’s heavy footsteps coming closer and closer to the door. He hated himself for being so willing, so eager, so full of hope that maybe this time would be different. But he should already know by now that this was just a sense of false hope he planted into his own mind. 

The door opened to reveal the tall blond boy, standing almost completely exposed, boxers only covering him. It was a sight Yamaguchi loved seeing but hated the circumstances. He wanted to see the perfect sight of Tsukki when he is just waking up in the morning or after they’re done making love and Tsukki is holding him and telling him how much he loves him. Yes he’s imagined this before. 

“Are you coming inside?” Tsukishima’s bored expression alternated only slightly as he raised his eyebrow at the freckled boy in front of him. 

“O-oh yes” Yamaguchi knew his cheek’s held a rosy tint of embarrassment but he only nodded and walked inside of the familiar home of Tsukishima. After hearing Tsukki closed the door, he let him lead him up the staircase into his room. 

Tsukishima’s lips were immediately attached to the shorter boy’s neck, Yamaguchi felt his whole body flush as he never seemed to get tired of the feeling of Tsukishima on him. And he hated it so much. 

“T-Tsukki. S-stop for a second” Yamaguchi knew his voice came out sounding as pathetic as he actually felt but it did the job because soon after Tsukishima's lips left his skin. 

“What?” Yamaguchi almost flinched at his annoyed tone, almost enough to just say ‘nothing’ and let the night continue as it always did but he already got Tsukki’s attention.  
“C-can you kiss me? On the lips” His voice was low and his eyes refused to meet Tsukishima’s harsh gaze. Yamaguchi was positive his face was more red than anything.

“We never kiss, why do you suddenly want to? We’re not a couple” Tsukishima’s words were daggers that sliced through chest and ripped out his heart. He was too focused on biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from tearing up to realize that Tsukki never waited for a response from him.

__________________________

Yamaguchi felt the bed bounce next to him as Tsukishima flopped next to him. No one said anything as they both laid on Tsukki’s full sized bed, panting as they attempted to catch their breath. Yamaguchi hated this feeling. More than the feeling of his sore thighs, more than the feeling of his sticky, sweat covered body. Nothing compared to the feeling he got as he had to just wait for Tsukishima to tell him he could leave. 

“You’re always so good” Tsukishima always said something like this afterwards, usually making Yamaguchi blush and smile to himself but this time it was different. He couldn’t do it tonight, he couldn’t just leave. 

“Is this all i’m good for, Tsukki?” His voice was low but he knew Tsukishima heard him. He stared at the white ceiling before closing his eyes, wishing he would just say something.

“What are you trying to say, Yamaguchi” He didn’t have to look at his face to know a challenging expression played on his features. His mind was screaming for him just to make up something, or laugh it off but he just couldn’t.

“I don’t want this to be it. I want to be more than just a sex toy for you” Yamaguchi words came out in breathy puffs, Tsukishima could tell he was about to cry. The silence seemed to last a lifetime. The only thing that happened was Tsukishima sitting up and getting off of the bed. He found his boxers and pulled them over his legs before looking at Yamaguchi. 

“You can get cleaned up in the bathroom and leave.” The monotoness of his voice pierced something deep inside of Yamaguchi and he heard his heavy footsteps walk away. He had no right to be crying but he couldn't help it. He knew the result would always be the same. Tsukishima would never love him, that's just how it was. Yamaguchi knew he was doing this to himself, he was letting it happen. He didn't have to answer those texts or calls at midnight when Tsukki needed a quick fuck. But he did. The salty tears didn’t stop, if anything they were now quiet sobs as he finally got out of the bed and grabbed his bag. He walked to the bathroom and turned the warm water in the sink on and a wash cloth. He let himself out after and walked back to his house in silence.

__________________________

He knew he shouldn't be doing this but Yamaguchi had his phone tightly in his hand, starring down at the last text message between from the boy he loved so much. 

Tsukki : I'm not sure what last week was about but you understand what we've been doing means nothing right? 

Tears pricked the corners of his eyes threatening to spill onto the screen under him. It was an unimaginable pain that hasn't ceased since, not in classes or eating dinner with family and especially not at practice. Practice was the absolute worst because it was a clear representation that Tsukishima was okay without him but all he's ever know or wanted was him. 

Yamaguchi wiped his eyes before getting the courage to reply. He knew this was his opportunity to abandon this terrible sea of depression he's been in but he just couldn't do it. He loved Tsukishima and would do anything for him no matter what the effect on himself was. 

Me : I was just upset, of course I know that. 

His heart beat was scattered along with his breath as he squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to calm himself down. But the feeling in his chest never left. Could you possibly die from a broken heart? 

Tsukki : I figured, busy tonight? My parents aren't going to be home 

Yamaguchi sighed, head pulsing from the constant crying, reading the text. He knew he shouldn't but he typed back "Okay". Laying back in his bed, staring at the ceiling, the only thing he could think is having a little love is better than none.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked this!! 
> 
> It was kinda sad to write but bleh. 
> 
> You can follow me on tumblr - lunaustin or h2homos


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